THE LORD MADE WOMAN!

"The One Flaw In Women"

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only two hands.'

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
'Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish.'
'But I won't, ' the Lord protested.
'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days.'

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

'She is soft,' the Lord agreed,
'but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'

'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.

The Lord replied,
'Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate.'

The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'

'That's not a leak,'
the Lord corrected,
'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.

The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed.
'You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing.'

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take 'no' for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

VALENTINE BROWNIE MOSAIC CHEESECAKE!

It seems that most people fall into one of three categories when it comes to Valentine’s Day:

Group #1: They enjoy the holiday and celebrate. Usually gifts and dinners at nice restaurants are involved.

Group #2: They think Valentine’s Day is nice, but over the top. They still recognize the day with cards, maybe a small gift, and prepare a nice dinner in.

Group #3: This last group completely hates the holiday, brands it a “Hallmark holiday” and wants nothing to do with acknowledging it.

Where do you fall on this spectrum?

This Cheesecake is for those of you that fall in-between #1 and #2!

Brownie Mosaic Cheesecake

Equipment used:

9" x 13" glass baking dish
Food processor
Stand mixer
10” Springform pan
Sheet pan

Part One: One Bowl Brownies

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate (Baker’s chocolate, optional of course)
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
1 3/4cups sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup flour

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Line 13×9-inch baking pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan. Grease foil.
Microwave chocolate and butter in large microwaveable bowl on high for 2 minutes, or until butter is melted. Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Stir in sugar. Blend in eggs and vanilla. Add flour and salt; mix well. Spread into prepared pan.
Bake 30 to 35 minute or until toothpick inserted in center comes out with fudgy crumbs. (Do not over bake.) Cool in pan on wire rack. Remove brownies from pan, using foil handles.

Cool brownies, then cut** them into 3/4- to 1-inch squares for use in the cheesecake. You will have more than the two cups of cubes, loosely measured, than you will need, and I’m sorry, you’re just going to have to decide for yourself what to do with the extra.
Add cubes to cake batter as directed below.

** I find that brownies are fantastically easy to cut once they’ve been refrigerated–you end up with nice clean lines, and in this case, a sharp pizza wheel was especially helpful. Also, brownies taste better cold. I’m just saying.

Part Two: Crumb Crust

3 cups finely ground Oreos
10 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2/3 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt

Stir together crust ingredients and press onto bottom and 1 inch up side of a buttered 24-centimeter springform pan. Fill right away or chill up to 2 hours.

Part Three: Cheesecake

3 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup sugar
2 cups brownie cubes (from recipe above)

Make crumb crust as directed above for 24-centimeter cheesecake. Preheat oven to 350°F.

Make filling and bake cake: Beat cream cheese with an electric mixer until fluffy and add eggs, 1 at a time, then vanilla and sugar, beating on low speed until each ingredient is incorporated and scraping down bowl between additions.
Fold brownie cubes in very gently and pour mixture into prepared pan. Put springform pan with crust in a shallow baking pan. Pour filling into crust and bake in baking pan (to catch drips) in middle of oven 45 minutes, or until cake is set 3 inches from edge but center is still slightly wobbly when pan is gently shaken.
When completely cool, top with following glaze.

Part Four: Ganache Glaze

3 ounces bittersweet chocolate, broken up, or 1/2 cup chocolate morsels
2 ounces butter
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon confectioners sugar

Grind the chocolate into powder in the food processor, scald the butter and cream in a saucepan (or in a Pyrex cup in the microwave). With the machine running, pour the hot cream/butter mixture slowly through the feed tube onto the chocolate. Blend until completely smooth, stopping machine to scrape down sides once or twice. Add the extract and sugar and process until smooth. Spread over cheesecake while ganache is still warm. Chill until ready to serve.
Recipe adapted from Smitten Kitchen

WE DIDN'T HAVE GREEN!

We Didn't Have Green

Received this from a friend and wanted to share with you all.

At the checkout at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day." He responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery shop and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two streets.

But he was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the Wales.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But he's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Just the thoughts of a selfish old person who obviously needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person

A KIDS VIEW OF CHRISTMAS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!





You Tube

A Kids view of Christmas.

I received this from a friend. I hope it touches you as much as it did me.

Thanks Jonthy!

BROWNIES ANYONE!

I have made all of these brownie recipes and they are to die for...If you love BROWNIES, then these recipes are for you!!!

PEANUT BUTTER TRUFFLE BROWNIES

Craving chocolate and sweet peanut butter all wrapped up into one indulgent bar? Start with a no-fail brownie mix, then add layers of peanut butter and melted chocolate chips. Yum.

INGREDIENTS:
Brownie Base
1 box (1 lb 6.5 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme brownie mix
Water, vegetable oil and eggs called for on brownie mix box

Filling
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2 teaspoons milk

Topping
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup butter

DIRECTIONS:
Heat oven to 350°F. Grease bottom only of 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray or shortening. (For easier cutting, line pan with foil, then grease foil on bottom only of pan.)

In medium bowl, stir brownie mix, pouch of chocolate syrup, water, oil and eggs until well blended. Spread in pan. Bake 28 to 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from side of pan comes out almost clean. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

In medium bowl, beat filling ingredients with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Spread mixture evenly over brownie base.

In small microwavable bowl, microwave topping ingredients uncovered on High 30 to 60 seconds; stir until smooth. Cool 10 minutes; spread over filling. Refrigerate about 30 minutes or until set. For brownies, cut into 9 rows by 4 rows. Store covered in refrigerator

PEANUT BUTTER RIPPLE BROWNIES

Crave the classic chocolate and peanut butter flavor combo? Here it is in brownie form, frosted of course!

INGREDIENTS:
Brownies
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 eggs
1 box (1 lb 6.5 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme brownie mix
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
2 eggs
Chopped peanuts, if desired

Peanut Butter Frosting
1 cup vanilla frosting (from 1-lb container)
1/3 cup peanut butter
2 to 3 teaspoons milk

DIRECTIONS:
Heat oven to 350°F. Grease bottom only of 13x9-inch pan. In small bowl, beat sugar, 1/2 cup peanut butter, the flour and 2 eggs with electric mixer on medium speed 2 minutes; set aside.

In medium bowl, stir brownie mix, pouch of chocolate syrup, oil, water and 2 eggs until well blended. Spread in pan. Drop peanut butter mixture by tablespoonfuls onto batter. Swirl through batter with knife.

Bake 40 minutes. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

In medium bowl, stir all frosting ingredients, using spoon, until smooth and spreadable. Spread frosting over brownies; sprinkle with peanuts. For brownies, cut into 8 rows by 6 rows

ULTIMATE TURTLE BROWNIES

Make the ultimate! Indulge brownie mix with extra caramel, nuts and chocolate.

INGREDIENTS:
1 box (1 lb 6.5 oz) Betty Crocker Original Supreme brownie mix (with chocolate syrup pouch)
Water, vegetable oil and eggs called for on brownie mix box
1 bag (14 oz) caramels, unwrapped
1/4 cup whipping cream
1 bag (11.5 oz) semisweet chocolate chunks (2 cups)
1 cup coarsely chopped pecans

DIRECTIONS:
Heat oven to 350°F. Spray bottom and sides of 13x9-inch pan with baking spray with flour. In medium bowl, stir brownie mix, pouch of chocolate syrup, water, oil and eggs until well blended. Spread 1/2 of batter (about 1 1/2 cups) in pan. Bake 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, in large microwavable bowl, microwave caramels and whipping cream uncovered on High 2 to 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until smooth.

Pour caramel over partially baked brownie; spread to edges. Sprinkle with 1 cup of the chocolate chunks and 1/2 cup of the pecans. Drop remaining brownie batter by small spoonfuls onto caramel layer. Sprinkle with remaining 1 cup chocolate chunks and 1/2 cup pecans.

Bake 33 to 36 minutes longer or until center is almost set. Cool 1 hour at room temperature. Cover; refrigerate 1 hour before serving. For brownies, cut into 6 rows by 6 rows. Store covered at room temperature.
Recipes from Betty Crocker

HONEY GLAZED HAM & ORANGE CRANBERRY SAUCE!

HONEY GLAZED HAM

We made this for my great grandson’s birthday party a couple weeks ago. It was one of the best hams I have ever had.

INGREDIENTS:

Glaze

1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup coarsely chopped peeled fresh ginger
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup whiskey
zest of 1 orange
1stick cinnamon
5 whole cloves
1 star anise
1 clove garlic crushed

Ham & Pineapple

2 whole carrots peeled and cut into large chunks
2 stalks celery cut into large chunks
1 whole orange, cut into 4 wedges
1 smoked cured ham, about 10 pounds, at room temperature
1 4 1/2 pound pineapple, peeled, quartered lengthwise, cored, cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices I was lazy and used canned pineapple.

DIRECTIONS:

Combine the honey, vinegar, ginger, mustard, brown sugar, whiskey, orange zest, cinnamon stick, whole cloves, star anise and garlic in a medium saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium-high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar. Remove from the heat and steep for 5 minutes. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a small bowl; discard the solids.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Place the carrots, celery, onion and orange wedges in the bottom of a roasting pan and set the ham on top of the cut vegetables.

Brush some of the glaze over the ham to coat entirely and generously.

Tent the ham with foil. Bake until a thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the ham registers 140 degrees F, brushing with the glaze every 20 minutes, about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. The glaze should be golden and caramelized and the ham should be fully heated through.


Remove the roasting pan from the oven and allow the ham to rest for 10 minutes. Transfer the ham to a carving board. Strain any pan drippings into a small bowl and skim off any excess oil.

Preheat the broiler. Place the pineapple slices in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Brush some of the glaze over the pineapple. Broil until the pineapple is tender and golden brown basting pineapple with juices, about 10 minutes.

Holding the ham in place with a carving fork, cut the ham into about 1/4-inch-thick slices and arrange on a platter.

Arrange the pineapple slices around the ham. Serve with the reserved pan drippings and any remaining glaze and enjoy.
Recipe from Curtis Stone

ORANGE CRANBERRY SAUCE

I like cranberry sauce with my ham. Okay, after nearly 56 years of cooking, my search for the "definitive" cranberry sauce recipe is over! This recipe is fantastic!! This is the best cranberry sauce I have ever had! I used to just resort to canned because I never seemed to be able to make a "good" cranberry sauce.

INGREDIENTS:

12 ounces cranberries
1 cup white sugar
1 cup orange juice

DIRECTIONS:

In a medium sized saucepan over medium heat, dissolve the sugar in the orange juice. Stir in the cranberries and cook until the cranberries start to pop (about 10 minutes). Remove from heat and place sauce in a bowl. Cranberry sauce will thicken as it cools.
Recipe from Toni

INNER PEACE!

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A Doctor on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum...